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Physical and Sexual Health (AND Relationships)

After an attunement with Shiva, all March I was sick.  I think I worked out like 1-2 times a week.  These last 2-3 weeks, I barely did anything between PMS, too much face-to-face interactions, and actually being on a my period.  I was 4 days late before I actually started.

I seriously doubted if I was pregnant, because my husband performance has been less than thrilling.  He'd bring me to the edge of climax, then he'd cum and be done.  So yeah, I wasn't all that eager to have sex with him.  It did prompt him to schedule to get snipped, which he has his consultation for that today.

Although the other day he said something hurtful about me "not putting out" anymore.  I could've hurt him worse, but I didn't.  I could've said, "Hey maybe our next girlfriend won't know what an orgasm feels like, so when yall fuck and you get yours, she won't know the difference!"  But I didn't.

I showed restraint.

Oh, and she will know one, because I'll give her plenty.  Blow her mind to what female pleasure is like.


Oh, and my husband finally got me a Bad Dragon tentacle dildo--something that I've been wanting and wanting since I learned about Bad Dragon sex toys.  I'm not happy with it.  It's too little and too soft.  My husband has this thing about me getting toys that are bigger than he is.  It's BS, especially since I've delivered three kids vaginally.  It's ain't tight down there anymore.  It's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.  He really needs to get over his maleness, and realize that HE hasn't change.  I have!  My vagina isn't tight anymore.  I need more girth!  I need bigger and harder toys.  So I'm very disappointed in the toy he bought me, which really sucks because I've wanted it for so long.  I wanted to dedicate it to Poseidon, but now I don't even want to use it because of stupid maleness and dick ego.  It's just not a suitable gift for Poseidon anymore.  Not as a sex toy anyway.  It's still a beautiful piece, just not a suitable toy.  But I know for next time I order from Bad Dragon, so I can get what I want, and he can get the fuck over it.

He seriously needs to get over it and accept that it isn't him, it's me.  Three vaginal births, hello!  Your dick hasn't changed.  Nothing's wrong with you!  Technically, nothing's wrong with me either, natural change with vaginal childbirth.  I plan on getting one big series of cosmetic surgery and it's not going to be wasted on tightening up my vagina, it's going to be used for excess skin removal.

Well, one problem will be solved this month--no worry me of getting pregnant, which means I can have an orgasm during sex again.  Oh, and I should mention, we pull out--in case that wasn't obvious, because I'm allergic to latex and refuse to take birth control pills after the last batch made me suicidal.

Also, I'm getting a bigger dildo.

So back to exercise, I have been taking advantage of these warm days and I've been jalking more and more.  Today, I did yoga, leg day, and belly dancing.  I want to go jalking today, but my husband still haven't bought new tires, so....I did more exercises than usual.  I turned up the heat for more sweating and got that heart rate up!

Le sigh.  Time to go eat something healthy.


Update (April 13, 2019): Hubby's proven to be a good listener and isn't petty about me wanting/needing something bigger than him.  We talked and I made him understand that it's not him.  There's nothing emasculating going on.  He let me pick out another Bad Dragon toy...and a bag of teenie weenies.  So Poseidon has a nice tentacle sculpture and Dionysus and the Satyrs will get a bag of mini dicks, and I'll have the Large and Firm Apollo for my sexual health needs.